The Stop, the Plop and the Flop: Reducing “Slop” in Tarot Reading

AUTHOR’S NOTE: I’m indebted to Ethan Indigo Smith (in The Tao of Thoth) for the inspiration behind the quirky title (along with the “jammed radar” scene from Mel Brook’s Spaceballs: “I’ve lost the bleep, the creep and the fleep”). As a martial artist in the Tai Chi discipline, Smith was talking about being unbalanced and imprecise in our movements: his analogy was that we tend to “plop down” clumsily instead of being graceful when we sit or recline.

“. . . do not be a slop, stop the plop. Be smooth if you drop and sink if you feel a potential to flop. Whatever you do, be smooth and stop the flop. Try to be entirely smooth in your approach to each step.”

In everyday life as in self-defense, effortless posture is a critical prelude to successful execution, but it must be followed up with equally fluid action. Charles Wright of the Watts 103rd Street Rhythm Band put it with a bit more funk:

“It’s not what you look like
When you’re doin’ what you’re doin’
It’s what you’re doin’, when you’re doin’
What you look like you’re doin’”

Awkwardness in coping with imbalance has parallels in the ungainly flailing about that can occur when a tarot session goes awry. Most of us have had the experience of becoming “stuck” in the middle of a reading, paralyzed by indecision when trying to figure out what to say next. In the worst cases we sit there momentarily transfixed, glancing sheepishly at our increasingly uneasy sitter. If we don’t do something promptly, we can seem clueless and our credibility can bottom out with a resounding “plop” like a turd ejected by a barnyard cow. The reading may not be a total “flop,” but it can certainly become too sloppy for comfort.

I have a couple of ways to deal with this dilemma. I learned long ago that, when stymied, it’s best to just keep talking, even if only at a tangent to the main theme. This allows me to create a “bridge” to my next meaningful insight while sacrificing only a small amount of traction and momentum. I may circle back to a previous card and bring its significance forward by linking what I said about it to the card that is presently baffling me, reinforcing continuity while also fleshing out the narrative.

I realize that this is only establishing a “holding pattern,” but it’s far preferable to coming across as incompetent. There is a thoroughly non-PC taunt that is sometimes leveled humorously at those experiencing a mental lapse: “being visited by Al” (as in Alzheimer), but in this case any fumbling and bumbling is more like “hanging out with Stu” (as in stupid). Considering my own intellectual pedigree, I often poke fun at myself by calling it “having a Mensa moment.”

Another good move is to nimbly turn the tables by asking the client a question or two about the progress of the reading in their own estimation. By giving them a chance to weigh in, we’re also claiming the opportunity to regain our mojo before we make a fool of ourselves. I’ve come up with some of my best observations when caught in this kind of jam by punting to the querent for an opinion that I can then pivot off after it runs its course.

When at a total loss for words, it isn’t unreasonable to grab a moment of silence to gather our thoughts, or to pause for a long drink of water as a subtle distraction before proceeding. However, when reading “on the clock” in a 15-to-20-minute session, a lengthy recess would not be feasible. In those constrained circumstances we can only bluff our way through; at such times I may detour briefly into a little on-point humor to keep the conversational spark alive. I draw most of this material from clever metaphors and analogies that speak to the situation in oblique ways, as I’ve done in the introduction above. (To be honest, it helps to be old (or at least “mature”) with a wide and deep reservoir of cultural, social, historical and literary anecdotes to tap.)

Anything to prevent going totally flat, me and my pal Stu.

Originally published at http://parsifalswheeldivination.wordpress.com on November 20, 2024.