Tarot Culture and “Toxic Introversion”
AUTHOR’S NOTE: The subject of “toxicity” in human relations seems to be on a lot of minds lately. But I believe there is an equally noxious “disinclination to engage” in face-to-face terms, and that is my focus here. A pair of recent posts brought me to the contemplation of how this premise operates in modern tarot culture.
A Facebook group member implied that we are becoming desensitized to the need for rapport in relationships. By enlisting the cards to reveal what “someone close to us thinks of us without just asking that person, are we losing our instinctive intuition in the process?” My own contribution to the response was: “In an increasingly impersonal culture (maybe ‘faceless’ is a better sociological description) timid people can hide behind a card reading rather than risk disappointment.” (In the same way, I might add, they cultivate a network persona as camouflage.)
On another forum someone else asked: “Why are you doing tarot on your relationship instead of/in place of active communication with your partner? I don’t get it.” My reply to that one was: “Precisely. I call it ‘hiding behind the tarot,’ particularly when trying to guess what someone is thinking or feeling without actually engaging with them.”
In both cases this led to a protracted discussion about why people don’t just talk to the other person, and instead turn to the cards for insight. One person described the “avoidant personality disorder” exhibited by those who dodge any situation that might prove to be emotionally unpleasant, while another mentioned “spiritual bypassing” as the culprit (although I think there is a bit of “ethical and emotional bypassing” in it as well). I personally think the current social-media environment is to blame for much of the depersonalizing of human discourse that leads to this kind of psychic guesswork (I call it “mind-reading with props”) about someone else’s feelings and intentions.
Online, we can pretend to be whomever we want to be and nobody will be the wiser, and this extends to probing other people’s state of mind without their awareness of our intrusion. Hunches aren’t enough, we want confirmation without having to pursue it in person. Heaven forbid they might get the idea we have an interest in them, it could lead to a “situation!” One of the best examples of this misrepresentation occurred in an episode of the animated series South Park. The boys from Colorado were playing World of Warcraft, and they revered a “power-player” whom they thought was a kid like them. Little did they know that it was actually a balding, hairy-chested, chain-smoking, beer-drinking, tattooed, unemployed 45-year-old guy in a “wife-beater” tee-shirt.
If what I’m seeing in the internet tarot community is any indication, communal detachment and even isolationism seem to be approaching endemic status within the young-adult demographic rather than being an aberration suffered by a few extreme introverts. As I’m sure you’re aware (perhaps painfully so), I’ve been diligently mining Sallie Nichols’ Tarot and the Archetypal Journey for essay material. In one chapter she explores at some length the psychological differences between the introverted and extroverted personality (she uses Jung’s term “extraverted”); here is a fragment that speaks to my observation.
“A sensitive, introverted person usually finds misunderstandings between himself and others too threatening to approach directly.”
These days, Jim Morrison’s caveat about the “young child’s fragile eggshell mind” can apply well into adulthood, prompting the “toxic introversion” of my title. But there is little of lasting value to be gained by “hiding behind the cards” (or in your parents’ basement) in these situations (particularly since positive action seldom follows in its wake), and much to be lost in the way of personal-development potential. Many profess to want intimate contact but few have the courage to go after it with disregard for the consequences. (In his lectures on yoga, Aleister Crowley described the “trance of indifference” as one of the states of consciousness that lead to enlightenment.) Get out there and put someone on the spot! They can only say “No.”
Originally published at http://parsifalswheeldivination.wordpress.com on November 7, 2023.
